I have been asked to share some tips on hospitality! And I’m happy to do so!
I need to start by saying that there was no real effort on my part in making this place hospitable. It just kind of happened because of where we are located. We’re a good place to kill time when people have downtown obligations—say, dropping kids off for an art class that’s only an hour long—not quite worth it to go home, but just enough time for a cup of coffee at Annie’s! So, that’s how it began.
But over the years it has evolved into “who is coming for dinner tonight?” or, “is anyone coming over today?” Which sometimes is spontaneous drop-ins, sometimes casual invitations, sometimes sizable parties. Ok, so here are my tips:
☕️We always have coffee. It’s not fancy—it is Folgers Black Silk made in a 12 cup Mr. Coffee drip pot, but it’s always available. (We also have tea because my girls especially are tea drinkers.)
🍽 there are lots of meals you can make to feed a crowd. Pasta, soups, loaves of bread with garlic oil to dip it in, grapes... I am not a fussy cook so I can usually come up with something suitable for many with what I have on hand. (Pasta is always good, and you can make an easy red sauce with canned crushed tomatoes and spices! Or just throw on butter, garlic and basil!)
🍾 We did not used to keep alcohol on hand, because we are not really “drinkers,” but in the past few years we’ve started keeping cheap white wine in the fridge. It just feels fancy. Sometimes we’ll have some beers, in the winter we like to give people Hot Buttered Rum or warm red spiced wine in the evenings. It’s not necessary, but people like a glass of wine.
🧹I only really clean for people the first time they come over. After that we do a family tidy about an hour before guests arrive; sweep the floors, clear off the table, pick up toys and books. But unannounced drop-ins just have to step around the clutter. 😂
💌 Invite people! It’s fun to have a laid back gathering (especially outside) and if you’re uncomfortable with people one-on-one, invite two! Don’t think about yourself—if you invite someone over, they will feel valued. If they come over and are afraid of your circus, meh. At least you are authentically you! (This is what I tell myself.)
👧👧👧👧👧 What about all these children? What about this baby? So, our kids always eat dinner with our guests. We’ve never had a gathering without them, and children are always welcome at our house. They usually eat with us and then wander off to play. Often in summer we just turn on the hose, or build a fire for s’mores, or serve ice cream. Sometimes I put the girls in charge of dessert and the grownups get to visit while the kids make something sweet! (Also, not a fuss. One of their favorite desserts is homemade whipped cream with chocolate chips or berries. But often they’ll whip up a batch of cookies or a one-bowl chocolate cake.) Witch babies and littles, it is admittedly more difficult. Ingrid and Elka think our bathroom is monster-infested, so I have to be in the bathroom with them constantly. Add a stinky diaper from the baby, and I am absent from the table quite a bit.Whatever! I’m not the most interesting person to talk to anyway. There are nights the kids are awesome and cheerful, there are nights when they are bouncing off the walls or having meltdown after meltdown. I’ve found that when people come back after a meltdown night, it means SO MUCH. And it’s a good reminder to be extra compassionate if ever you are in the position of being a guest on someone else’s Grumpy Night.
Above all else, just make sure people know they are always welcome. There have been times when we’ve had a constant stream of visitors and it’s gotten a little draining, but I try to remind myself that if people are coming here, that means they value this space, that it fills a love bucket of some sort for them. Humans are social creatures, and most of us really like food. I guess you could say the key to hospitality is filling an empty stomach. Haha. Isn’t that what they say about a man’s heart? That’s not really a very nice saying, is it? Like, men are probably only into you if you feed them well? Yet, here I am, advising the same for friendship. Hahaha, now that I think of it, maybe just ignore this whole post and just love your friends for who they are and allow them to do the same to you. ❤️
